In a recent conversation, how history repeats itself became the major topic. Laughter erupted because we see this repetition manifested in our children, and we are reminded of the many times that our parents would say, “Just wait until you have children of your own. They will act just like you.” How many times did we shrug it off and think that surely no child of mine will act in an unbecoming manner. Oh, how children prove us wrong by re-enacting our very ways. As we laughed about it, one of the major episodes in all of our lives involves what we call “passing the buck.” No, we are not passing a dollar bill to see how many times it will exchange hands. What we are passing is the denial of truth and taking responsibility for our own actions. It is so much easier to blame someone else rather than tell the truth. The baseball broke the neighbor’s window and a child will yell, “I didn’t do it!” Or a child will say, “Not me!” When Grandma’s favorite vase gets broken, the response is “I don’t know what happened, but it wasn’t me!” If a child is brave enough, he will blame another child or a sibling, “I didn’t do it. Steven did it!” Oh, what tangled webs we weave. We laughed because we had to admit that we did the same thing as children. Have you ever wondered where that type of denial and mistrusting others in a situation originated or how long it has been around?. Guess what? We can start from the beginning with the story of Adam and Eve.
Most of us know the story of Adam and Eve living in the Garden of Eden. Eden was a beautiful place, and Adam’s job was to oversee and protect it all: land, plants, and animals. For company, God provided a help mate taken from Adam’s rib: Eve. He was to protect her too. Something went wrong starting in Genesis 3:6-12 beginning with the enticement from the serpent.
“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Adam blamed Eve for giving him the fruit. Adam did not protect Eve against the serpent. But the story gets better when the Lord addresses Eve. “Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” So Adam has passed off his lack of courage and decision-making to his wife, and Eve has passed off the fact that her disobedience is the fault of the serpent.
So often, it is the fear of the consequence that drives us to lie or put off the responsibility of our actions on others. However, for Adam, Eve, and the serpent, the consequence was great. The serpent was cursed to crawl on his belly and eat dust. Because of their disobedience and poor decision-making, Adam and Eve were turned away from the Garden of Eden. Adam would have to work the earth and eat food from it, and he would sweat because the labor would be hard. Eve’s share of the labor would come in severe childbirth. One indiscretion became a game changer. Think, if it was so easy for Adam and Eve to not accept what they had done, why do we not understand what is happening when our children respond in denial? The already know that their disobedience will lead to a consequence that causes them to be fearful. The story of the serpent in the Garden of Eden will not be the last time that “the buck has been passed.” Wow! Can’t you hear each of them saying, “No Lord, it wasn’t me! It wasn’t my fault!”
As our conversation continued about “passing the buck,” we began to share stories of how parents have used their children to get out of situations. It just seems like an easy resolution so that there are no hurt feelings or anger. We can all remember a time when a parent did not want to be bothered by a nosy neighbor, obnoxious friend, or imposing family members. “I’m sorry, Tom. Kenny has baseball practice.” “Aunt Susie, we won’t be home that weekend; the family is taking a trip!” (Not really.) “David, I’m sorry, my son’s music was so loud I must not have heard you at the door.” Guess what? Parents have “passed the buck” if they did not want to be bothered or put in an awkward situation. Here’s a story.
In the book of John, chapter 9, Jesus heals a young man that had been blind from birth. The disciples wonder why his consequence was so drastic. Jesus explains that the parents did nothing wrong, but this was a sign of God’s work being displayed. When questioned by the religious leaders, the young man explained how Jesus had placed mud over his eyes and then he could see. The religious leaders did not believe him and called for his parents to come in for questioning. His parents’ reaction is found in verses 22-23. “We know he is our son,” the parents answered, “and we know he was born blind. But how he can see now, or who opened his eyes, we don’t know. Ask him. He is of age; he will speak for himself.” His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders, who already had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue. That was why his parents said, “He is of age; ask him.” So, we learn that it’s not just children that will deny it, so will parents. There are so many stories that represent “passing the buck:” Joseph and his brothers, David and Uriah, and the most famous Peter’s denial of Christ.
As the conversation ended, we all agreed that the idea of placing blame on another has been in existence forever. The next time a child exclaims, “It’s not me.” or “I don’t know how that happened,” we will use the moment as an opportunity to talk about how denial brings about consequences (sometimes harsh consequences) because there was the “passing of the buck.”
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