This I Believe: The Introspective Journey

Every year my students are required to write a “This I Believe” speech about a topic that ignites an interest or a passion within them. The genre can be satirical, fictional, or informational. The topics usually vary, and it reveals quite a bit about the student. In the past some of these speeches have caused the class to erupt in gut-wrenching laughter, blank stares, and tears. Every year the students always ask if I am going to write a “This I Believe Speech” and present it to the class. Because I take a hands-on approach and complete some of the assignments with students, I have given thought to what I would like to say this year.

This year has been a struggle for me, as well as for students. We are all tired and trying to live within a space that is tired. Trying to return to “normal” has really been non-existent. As much as we have tried to appear to return to normal, we are realizing that  ”normal” will be a long time in coming if it ever gets here. My observation is that we can resume a regular schedule, classes, and routines, but what we have not conquered is the mindset. And the mindset may be skewed by the amount of loss that people have experienced during this time of COVID: loss of friendship, relationship, jobs, homes, and loved ones.

Today I recognized  how much students have lost in the wake of COVID. I was struck with reality when students told me their scores on the SAT were below 900. I asked what was wrong or what part of the test gave them so much trouble? The resounding answer was grammar and vocabulary. In my shock, I remembered that these students have not had a normal school year in two years. Some of the fundamentals that would have been covered did not happen. When I look at my students, I also see fear. It is the fear of not measuring up; it is the fear of what lies ahead; it is the fear of releasing suppressed emotions; and it is fear of being true to self.

As human beings, we must remember that life has a way of making us pause. It has a way of making us look within ourselves. When we look, we sometimes see growth, and at other times we don’t necessarily like what we see. Sometimes our inward journey is a reminder of the very things or people that we show little regard for or take for granted. It is a reflection of the life that we are living that displays our strengths, weaknesses, thankfulness, and thoughtlessness.  Our journey within reveals the people and situations that have impacted or haunted us for a long time. It reveals the hurts that have never healed, and it reveals memories that have brought us joy. If there is so much  within us, you may ask, then why take the journey?

We take the journey so that we don’t live with regret. We take the journey so that we can make right some situations or ill-advised decisions, or  repent for negative, hurtful actions or  words. We take the journey so that we become cognizant of living with intentionality. We take the journey for self-discovery and for healing. Taking the journey is worth it!

There are situations that evoke emotions of happiness, sadness, and anger. If we choose not to go to the root cause of some of these emotions, we experience depression, anxiety, and guilt. Too often these causes appear after the loss of a job, a home, or a loved one through illness, tragedy, breakup, or death. So what happens if we never look inwardly to see how we can start the process of healing? Eventually, you turn into the adult that finds difficulty in love, trust, commitment, and forgiveness. If you never look inward, you will never recognize the past that needs reconciliation in order for you to move forward. Bitterness, delusion, pride, and anger comes with the denial of what you know and see within yourself. The importance of this journey is to grow and not take these attributes into your future or pass them on to the next generation. If we don’t assess our inward selves, we may encounter unnecessary struggles, hurts, and opposition.

However, when I look at students through the lens of hope, I see strength, desire, positivity, joy, and great expectancy. I see confrontation with the inner struggle, but I see the communication to convey thoughts and feelings. I see hurts, disappointments, and pains, but I see hearts large enough to forgive and move forward. I see fear and doubt, but I also see a well of strength and belief in self. I see self-absorption, but I also see humility. I see obstacles, but I also see winners and overcomers. Looking through an optimistic lens, I see aspiration, ambition, confidence, and achievement. 

This I believe… If all of my students take the inward journey, learn from it, and grow from it, they will find that this is the beginning of a healthy heart, mind, and attitude. Look inward, see what I see, and take the journey!

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