Every once in a while you are reminded of how much you’ve grown. You remember what your reaction would have been like ten or twenty years ago. There is sheer amazement when you realize that situations, names, and places used to get a response out of you. Now, you just shrug your shoulders as though these things never existed. A friend of mine likes to say, “But God!” or “Look at God!”
Sometimes our responses can just be a matter of maturity, but so often we think about where we have been, what we have gone through, and the many lessons learned. We have flashbacks of the people we have let go of, the situations that we will not put ourselves in again, and the pain and hurt from the sin committed. We know that we have grown when we think about the past and how we would respond today.
I recently had an encounter that took me back in time. Thirty years ago. I worked for a large corporation that had some grueling demands. The stresses of a job is only exacerbated by inhumane treatment, favoritism, and status ranking of management. My superiors were the type to gossip about other employees and their difficulties. They went so far as to laugh at other people’s misfortunes. Of course, the green-eyed monster reared its ugly head if there was praise or recognition for a job well done by another key member of management. If one of us was non-conformist, then our punishment showed up in a paltry pay increase. A sense of anger, negativity, and poisonous venom permeated the air, and soon the environment became toxic. It is hard to think about being godly and prayerful when the people that you work with have no respect or value for you. As employees, we often put our heads together to see how we would outsmart management. What else could we do?
Over the years, I have thought about that era. I have asked myself if I matured or if I changed in any way. Actually, I had done both. I matured in years and in life, but my greatest maturity came in my walk with Christ. This management duo was unhappy with situations and people in their lives so they brought those emotions into the work environment and spewed their venom at us. Thirty years ago, I would have seethed with anger. Today, I would have had a conversation with them and prayed for them and with them if they had allowed it. I would not have relinquished the power of my happiness to someone else. I was reminded of the old adage, “Misery loves company!” I learned that when people are this unhappy and have no control over their own lives, they come in and try to control another environment. When I left this position, I thought that I would never see anyone from this management team again. Good riddance! I have been content until this year when I was face to face with this person.
In a brief blur, I could remember all of the snide remarks, the laughter and pointed fingers, the poor reviews, the lack of compassionate reactions, and the oozing of sheer hatefulness. But it was a blur. In that one minute, I realized that I had forgiven. I had moved on. I had not wallowed in the ugliness and actions of others. At that moment, I realized that I had a soft spot for these individuals and felt sorry for them. I wondered if they had known God and had depended on Him, would their dispositions have been different. Could they have seen and felt a sense of hope? Did they ever change? Did they have any remorse for how their actions impacted other people? One can only pray that just as I have grown, they did, too.
We are given a great command that we are to love one another. Sometimes that is hard because we think that we would feel better if we could go on carrying the grudge of hatred. If we think this way, we only hurt ourselves. There is freedom in hearing Jesus say, “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:27-28 Sometimes the forgiving is more for us so that we can move on and not dwell on that which serves no purpose. How can we not forgive? “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32.
Once the blur passed, I looked at this member of management, extended my arms, and gave a most sincere hug. My conversation was pleasant, and I walked away without feeling a great sense of satisfaction that I had won a battle. I hadn’t. I had matured enough in my life and in my walk with the Lord to not allow my joy to be stolen or to dwell on things beyond my control. I left with a sincere hope that my reaction and faith had been a witness and a praise.
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