Be still. This may be one of the hardest things to do when you are dealing with people’s personalities, insecurities, greed, and overall dysfunctions. The name that we sometimes give them is “Petty Betty.” These are the people who find every possible way to make your life miserable because they are not happy. We find them in the neighborhood, schools, churches, homes, and the workplace (especially around the water cooler and the breakroom). The bigger question is how you deal with these characters and maintain some sense of decorum. Some of the situations and conversations that we find ourselves in are no different from some of the people in scripture. Let’s take a look at jealousy, pride, materialism, insecurity, bragging, gossiping, and lying.
Jealousy is the theme in Genesis 29, we have the story of Jacob and his willingness to work an additional 7 years for Rachel after being duped by Laban into marrying his oldest daughter, Leah first. Leah, the unwanted bride, was fertile and produced a number of sons, and Rachel was barren, bitter, and jealous of her sister enough to take matters into her own hands. Sounds familiar? What about the colleague who does not like you for no apparent reason other than you can do a job better or that others seem more receptive to who you are?
Jealousy: God will give you a great sense of peace. Jealousy has no place in our lives. “A peaceful mind gives life to the body, but jealousy rots the bones.” Proverbs 14:30.
The theme in Genesis 25 is how the focus on material things takes our eyes off of spiritual blessings. We learn about the rivalry between Esau and Jacob, the stealing of the birthright, and the exodus because of the act committed. Jacob was willing to give up his birthright for food. It was an outward sign of disrespect because he did not appreciate the privilege and position that had been given to him. The lesson is not to set your mind and heart on materialistic things and miss out on spiritual blessings.
What about the student who thinks that dating the iconic quarterback is great because he is popular and comes from money? He can buy her things. Only after discovering the shallowness of this relationship does she see what she missed. She missed the quiet young man whom she considered a nerd who would have respected her and kept her reputation spotless. Guess what? He became a gift to another young lady who saw his worth.
Materialism: There is nothing greater than what God has for you. We must remember that we can’t serve two masters. We can’t afford to miss out on the spiritual blessings that God has for each of us. “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever. 1 John 2:15-17.
Genesis 4 introduces stubbornness and how we refuse to ask for help in the right places and where dark thoughts overtake us resulting in sin. Perhaps there is an insecurity that dwells within that one is not good enough in comparison to another. There is the story of Cain and Abel where disdain got the better of Cain after the Lord rejected his offerings. Instead of admitting his mistakes and trying to correct them and seeking wise counsel from the Lord, he murdered his brother. Isn’t it interesting after committing the sin, Cain still did not change his ways? Instead, he continued to display a great deal of arrogance and sin, and once he had given in to these things, he had no interest in worshiping God. So he was given his punishment.
Pride: “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18.
We can’t walk around believing that there are no consequences for our sins. What about the family member who travels and refuses to ask for directions when he knows he is lost? Because of his pride, he yells at his family because they have suggestions, or they may want to stop and ask. Pride takes them 2 hours in the wrong direction. Now they are past where they should be and instead of having fun, traditions, travel anticipation, and family relationships are broken. What a price to pay. Just ask.
Think about some of the others that act like people we know today: mean-spirited. Saul wanted to kill David because he felt that his position was being threatened. After returning from war the women in the village praised Saul in song, but they praised David more. Saul felt that he had been disrespected and that his power was being usurped.
What about the veteran teacher who feels that her position is being erased because of a new, young, innovative teacher? The veteran teacher refuses to assist the new teacher in any way because she feels as though she has become a relic and is slowly fading from the limelight. Not attractive, but it happens.
Insecurities: Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8.
Joseph was a braggart. He told his brothers about his dreams of how they would one day be under him. Of course, the brothers did not receive this news well. What did bragging get Joseph? It got him sold into slavery where he experienced some dreadful moments. It would be safe to say that Joseph’s bragging exhibited a negative attitude because he lauded his superiority over his brothers.
What about the friend who inherits a large sum of money, and he starts buying expensive items and makes everyone feel less than because he knows their financial situation does not allow them to make these types of purchases?
Bragging: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice, and righteousness on earth for in these I delight,” declares the Lord.
Being gossip has a tendency to make people feel important as though they know more about someone else’s life. Psalm 41:5-6 introduces gossip. “One time when King David was sick, his enemies acted concerned when they visited him but then secretly celebrated his projected downfall and spread the story that he was about to die.” Now that’s gossip!
Gossiping: “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips.” Proverbs 20:19.
Peter declared his dedication to Jesus. Jesus told him that he would deny him three times before morning. When Peter saw what was happening and then was questioned about his relationship with Jesus, he lied. He did not want to suffer so he saved himself. What about the time when you knew that you had done something wrong and you let your friend or sibling take the blame because you were trying to save yourself from suffering consequences?
Lying: The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy. Proverbs 12:22.
When we encounter personalities like these, we find ourselves disgusted or angry. Sometimes we are sad that people’s lives are filled with chaos and angst, but we also know that this is a part of human nature. What we find is that some of the worst personalities are acting out of trauma, environment, hurt, and pain. So what do you do when you encounter these types of people? There are some that we will avoid at all costs, and there are many that we pray for because we know that there are reasons behind their actions. We also believe that a better person exists within. The best thing we do is pray, and we refuse to sink to this level of pettiness. God has given us instruction in each of these categories. Sometimes we have to model what it looks like in hopes that others may be transformed. “To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the supple moves of prayer for that person.” Luke 6:27-28 Understand that the human condition has been in effect for a long time, and the personalities we see today are nothing new. During times like this, we must be proactive in our thoughts and actions even in the moments when we want to retaliate. To preserve decorum, we must sometimes be still.
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