Doors serve as an entrance or an exit to a building, but they also serve to keep things hidden or to keep ideals jailed. We are like doors. We are open to letting certain people in that are close to us. We close the door to keep out those who mean us harm or those who have betrayed us. We lock doors for protection from the outside, and we also lock doors to bury sins, hurts, abuse, and unpleasant memories. When we look at a door, we never know what is behind it.
Finding Me, by Viola Davis, captivates the audience with the closed doors of hurt, shame, grief, and self-loathing. She describes the facades of sexy, innocence, and blackness. It took her a lifetime to learn self-love, real love, and the true person within. This memoir makes us think about the people that we encounter on a daily basis. What hides behind the door of their lives? What hides behind yours? How quickly do we assume that we know someone based on what we see outwardly?
Every year we encounter hundreds of students. From all appearances, they look like happy, normal, typical teens. What we have learned is that many have closed doors that hide addictions, depression, anxiety, self-loathing, abuse, loneliness, and sheer sadness. These are doors that will stay closed and locked if no one cares enough to try to open them. Through the years, the key to opening the door is building relationships and trust. Despite socioeconomic, gender, or religious background, we must eliminate judgment and harsh comments just because individuals don’t fit the way that we live.
So this year, the challenge begins. Viola Davis uses a quote from Thomas Merton that captures the question that we need to guide and challenge our students. “If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for. Between these two answers, you can determine the identity of any person.”
As educators, we have to help the young people we encounter in our lives understand and recognize their purpose, unconditional love, and the meaning of living their best life. We don’t want it to take a lifetime for them. We want to open doors to possibilities and freedom. Finding Me, convicts the heart to follow Anne Lamont’s statement, “You [We] can either leave something for people or you [we] can leave something in people.” The challenge is what’s behind the door.
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