Assumptions

I asked my class to define what creates a personal identity. They could choose from the lens of time, place, traditions, culture of impacting moments. Many of these young people don’t feel as if they have anything to write about, but with guidance, many had stories told through parents and grandparents. They have traditions that have been passed through the generations, and these are traditions that they will probably pass on to their children. Others have cultural rituals that have shaped their identity. The lens that most students chose is “impacting moments.” I often work on the same assignments with students so I have chosen impacting moments in my life also. 

So once again I am off to a place that brings me a great deal of peace. The beach. I am trying to get in my last little slice of peace before school is officially out and vacations begin. Riding with a friend on the way down, we had a discussion about everything that was going on in the world: the resurgence of enemies, the state of the economy, the face of the church, the frail state of our political world, gun laws, systemic racism, the challenges of young people, and the lack of class and culture. In this two-and-a-half-hour journey, we reminisced about the simplicity of life when we were younger and how people formed opinions about us without even knowing who we were. We call this making an assumption.

An assumption is defined as a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof. So why do people feel the need to make assumptions? We make assumptions about people quickly based on past relationships, socio-economic status, education, our inherited standards for living, or fear. We may meet someone who reminds us of someone else. How quickly do we assign those characteristics to the new person? Is this fair? Negative assumptions can affect our relationships, our impartial way of thinking, and our behaviors. It has the ability to turn us into judgemental, narrow-minded people. Before long we don’t recognize the person in the mirror.

I have been on the receiving end of assumptions. Having moved many times in my life, I have learned to adapt to the climate and culture of many places. On this drive with my friend, I shared stories of situations that I have encountered in my lifetime. Many of these situations I had not thought about in years, and I actually thought that they were dead and buried. In visiting these scenarios again, I learned that the sting is as hurtful today as it was years ago. When I finished talking about these experiences, my friend could not believe that I have managed to maintain a positive, hopeful outlook on life and that I can still stand without having a deep-rooted sense of hatred and bitterness. Frankly, I never thought about it, but then I have to wonder who would I be serving if I kept that kind of emotion pent up within myself. Jesus was a Jew, and many people made assumptions about who He was, His purpose, His mission. Despite what people thought, Jesus continued to do the Father’s will. 

In reflection, these experiences may have been the catalyst that led to my calling to teach. With these experiences, I am reminded of my first memorable encounter with assumptions. I was new to the state and to the school in fourth grade. Looking forward to school and making new friends, I entered the fourth-grade class with eyes full of wonder. Because it was after Labor Day and school had already started, I was not aware of the rules and procedures. However, I noticed that there were three reading groups in a circle, and the third group was preparing to leave class. The teacher placed me in group one, and we took turns reading the Dick and Jane series. One of my male classmates started to read, and he stumbled over words and looked a little sheepish. The next classmate read, but it sounded more like he was calling out words. It only took a short amount of time for me to realize that group one was your readers who struggled and needed remediation. At the time, I could only ask myself why this woman put me in this group. When she called on me to read, I said, “Come here, Jane. Come here, Dick. See Spot run! See Puffy run! Run! Run! Run!” I read one page and was ready to move on to the next page when the teacher said, “Stop. You don’t belong in this group.” It wasn’t what she said that caught my attention; it was the surprised look on her face that I could read. The next day I joined the elite group 3 and went next door to honors reading. I have not thought about the first day of school in fourth grade for a long time. Knowing what I know now, the teacher assumed that I was a poor reader and a remedial student.

Middle and High school were a breeze. The schools were quite integrated, and I was in diverse honors classes. It was not until I got to college that assumptions reappeared. I had several incidents in college: My sophomore year I met a classmate who had never been around minorities. She said, “You know until now I thought that all who weren’t like me were just alike. I listened to my mother who had me so afraid of all people. I am finding that not all people are alike.” In my junior year, a guest speaker was in Chapel for the African American History program. As the gospel choir began to sing “Lift Every Voice and Sing” (the Black National Anthem), all of the black students stood up, and the whispers and jeers from white students came. I wrote an editorial for the school newspaper explaining the history of the anthem and the reason for standing. I further commented on recognizing the lack of African American History education that was being taught in our school curriculums. One student. Pushback. Opposing editorial. Rebuttal. One history professor wrote in and settled the entire situation. 

As an adult, I have had several roommates of different nationalities. It is interesting how people make an assumption based on your ethnicity. My roommate found an apartment for us in the old-money Shandon area, and she went over to see the place that morning and thought it was perfect. She told the landlord that I would come by later. As soon as the landlord met me, I sensed her hesitancy in renting the place to us. When we called to tell her that we really liked the place and wanted to rent it, she explained that someone else had placed a deposit on the apartment. Something in the conversation bothered us, but I had decided to let it go. My roommate was bothered enough to drive by the next day and see the “For Rent” sign in the window. She called and the landlord was excited to show her the place. The conversation that occurred was less than pleasant and quite confrontational about assumptions and racism. There was much denial, excuses, and apologies, but the damage was done. Needless to say, we did not live there.

Assumptions don’t just have an impact on our personal lives, but they also appear in the business world. At a large corporation, the job description required a Bachelor’s Degree, but when another employee applied, she did not have a degree and the job description was changed. I questioned someone in personnel because the practice was unfair. Needless to say, the description was changed to the original (after the employee got the position). Assumptions didn’t stop in Corporate America, it carried over into the field of education. I learned that if you have a level of expectation and classroom management, you would most likely get the class of boys who needed remediation, the class of girls who were mean-spirited, or the class that nobody else wanted to teach. Condescending statements would follow like “You’re so good with them!” Who is them? Another stereotypical assumption. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if a minority teaches an honors class, the expectation should be that parents will come to Open House to see this phenomenon. The same material is taught, but there is an underlying assumption that it will somehow be taught differently if a minority is teaching.

All of these impacting moments have defined my identity. I enter classes and see students for who they are and not compare them to an older sibling. I don’t box students into a profile based on socio-economics or environment. The same level of expectations applies to all races. But the greatest lesson through assumptions is how much it can positively or negatively impact a person. 

“While you judge me by my outward appearance I am silently doing the same to you, even though there’s a ninety-percent chance that in both cases our assumptions are wrong.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich

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