As the waves hit the shore in a rhythmic motion, the woman stood on the 12th-floor condominium balcony and looked out into the wintry evening air. Something about the water made her reflect on the past with deep melancholy. For the last several months, she had awakened with a heavy heart and wondered if she was just “getting up on the wrong side of the bed” or if she was tired and grumpy, or if her subconscious was at work. No matter what the reason might have been, she was experiencing an undeniable heaviness. She thought that her heaviness may have been caused by financial stresses, work duties, family issues, friendship changes, or untold and unseen forces in living, but she still wondered what she was to do with this overwhelming feeling? As the cold breeze wafted through her hair, she was so overcome with a deep numbing burden that there was nothing else to do but cry. The weight on her chest surpassed any type of feeling or pain that she had ever known.
Even in this darkest moment, the woman was reminded that the Lord was always with her. She also remembered that in his despair, David, the psalmist, cried out to the Lord in Psalm 61:2-2 (CSB) I will call you from the ends of the earth when my heart is without strength. Lead me to a rock higher above me, for you have been a refuge for me, a strong tower in the face of the enemy.
David cried out to the Lord because he was not a perfect man, but he knew the source of where his help was to come. When we think of David, we are reminded that he was chosen to lead; he was a great warrior; but he had many short-comings. David lusted after a woman, had an affair, had a child out of wedlock, sent a man onto the frontline of a battle (to his death), killed the giant, experienced arrogance, selfishness, success, and grieved loss, and yet he remained faithful. However, when we are in a season of sadness, hopelessness, and despair, we don’t always think about the source of our strength and comfort. We dwell in the here and now. How might we overcome the length of these dark times if we remembered that God is the only answer?
Many of us can identify with the melancholy woman because we have all gone through seasons of life that have been challenging. If we dare to look deep within, we often find that the culprit of our heaviness is a heart condition. Something or someone in our life has caused a deep-rooted pain that is defined as brokenness. Sometimes our brokenness comes from the choices we make in our walk on our own and not with Christ. Brokenness is the emotion that generates so many other sentiments: anger, bitterness, shame, guilt, and unworthiness. If we are not careful, our brokenness can become detrimental to our well-being. We can easily withdraw and become isolated in a cave of our own making. After leaving Gath, David felt alone and isolated from everyone although he was surrounded by many. “So when his brothers and all his father’s house heard it, they went down there to him. And everyone who was in distress, everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was discontented gathered to him. So he became captain over them. And there were about four hundred men with him.” David did not feel like any man in the cave could be trusted or could understand his plight, but he chose not to complain to them. He chose to cry out to the Lord in Psalm 142:
I cry out loudly to God,
loudly I plead with God for mercy.
I spill out all my complaints before him,
and spell out my troubles in detail:
“As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away,
you know how I’m feeling,
Know the danger I’m in,
the traps hidden in my path.
In your brokenness, have you ever felt that the reason you don’t cry out to God is because you feel abandoned and alone? Do you feel so far removed from God that you don’t feel His presence? Is this distancing caused by you, another person, or some other circumstance? Do you feel as though you are invisible? The melancholy woman at the beach felt this way although she was constantly surrounded by friends, family, and other people. She reflected on life choices and their impact on her life. Her thoughts were as dark and tumultuous as the waves, and like the infinite view of the ocean’s end, the Lord’s presence was not within her sight. Her brokenness had come from impetuous decisions, vengeful thoughts, greed, arrogance, and hurt. That is too much for one person to take on alone! When these emotions surface, the enemy jumps right in to drag you into a place of isolation, emptiness, and despair. He is content to leave you there and let you wallow in it. When David felt that there was nothing else to do when his brokenness became too heavy, he fell to his knees and cried out to the Lord:
Long enough, God—
you’ve ignored me long enough.
I’ve looked at the back of your head
long enough. Long enough
I’ve carried this ton of trouble,
lived with a stomach full of pain.
Long enough my arrogant enemies
have looked down their noses at me.
Take a good look at me, God, my God;
I want to look life in the eye,
So no enemy can get the best of me
or laugh when I fall on my face.
I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms—
I’m celebrating your rescue.
I’m singing at the top of my lungs,
I’m so full of answered prayers.
There is great joy in knowing that the Lord hears us and answers. Like the woman, any of us can fall into the pit of despair and desperation. Not every situation is easy, and we don’t always bounce back immediately because the journey to come out of the pit may be long and hard. There are times when it is necessary for us to hit rock bottom in darkness and murkiness to understand the full realm of friendship, forgiveness, mercy, and grace. The beauty in the journey is that God has never abandoned you even if you have walked away from him. There is nothing you can do that He doesn’t already know. You can’t run or hide from your actions. You can’t suppress your emotions. When you are in that reflective, dark season in your life, what brings you to your knees? makes you cry out? brings you back to God? In the weariness and dreariness of our lives, remember David and cry out to Him!
Copyright ©️ 2020 by CrayDawg, Inc.
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